State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize