ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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