I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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