I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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