Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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