Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
