At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
