you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
