Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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