I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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