Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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