Whod you bang
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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