Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
