who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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