The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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