Sponge bath it is.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
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You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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