I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize