i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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