She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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