Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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