woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
