Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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