That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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