also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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