you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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