Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
