pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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