I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
