she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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