You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
