haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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