went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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