So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
