so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
