Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This toilet bowl is my home.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
