is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
