Soap is not a condiment
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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