The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
