oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
