Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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