Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
did you just send me my own nude
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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