i just had sex bonerless
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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