Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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