if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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