My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
