we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
