You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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