shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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