Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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