Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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