my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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