I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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