Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
