This girl is more easily done than said...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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