The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
