Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
