I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
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you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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