Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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