remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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